A Japanese Perspective on Cultural Adjustment and Cross-Cultural Communication

To you who are considering overseas living—your anxieties and confusion might just overlap with my own experiences.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably someone who’s thinking “I’d love to experience overseas living,” or maybe you’re already navigating life as a “foreigner” in a different country.

Overseas living definitely has that sparkly, exciting image to it. But honestly? It’s not all fun and games from the start. Leaving behind the “normal” you grew up with and diving into a completely different culture comes with more walls to climb than you might imagine.

If you’re looking for some mental preparation for overseas living, please read this as one person’s story. And for those of you who are already experiencing overseas living or living in Japan as foreigners and struggling with something—you’re not alone. I’ve felt confused by cultural differences too, and even now, I often think “yep, I’m definitely a foreigner here.” I hope you can read this feeling like you’re not the only one going through this cultural adjustment journey.

How My New Zealand Overseas Living Journey Started

I first left Japan when I was 16, through a high school exchange program to New Zealand. Then as an adult, I saved up money and went back to NZ for another short-term study at 24. After returning to Japan once, I went back again on a working holiday visa at 25. From there, I got permanent residency, and before I knew it, I’ve been experiencing overseas living in NZ for 10 years now.

The Gap Between Japanese Stereotypes and Reality in Overseas Living

What comes to mind when you hear “Japanese person”? Probably things like “can’t say no,” “can’t speak English,” “serious,” “humble”… something along those lines, right?

When I first began my overseas living experience in NZ, people would actually say things like “You’re Japanese, so you can’t say no, right?” or “Wow, you can speak English even though you’re Japanese!” right to my face.

I thought it was rude, but honestly? A lot of it was true. Japanese people really do struggle with saying “no” clearly. The percentage of people who can speak English isn’t particularly high compared to the rest of the world. And that “humble” and “serious” image? Spot on—it’s part of our national character.

But here’s the thing: these traits often backfire during overseas living experiences. Not speaking up, being overly modest, language barriers… When I first came to NZ, these things really troubled me during my cultural adjustment process. Especially in workplaces or group settings—if you don’t voice your opinions, you just fade into the background. And if you’re too vague with your words, you end up getting the short end of the stick later.

The Power of “Acting” – Essential Expat Advice: Fake it till you make it

After experiencing overseas living for 10 years, I’m pretty used to it now, but there’s one piece of expat advice I wish I’d started following earlier: “acting.”

Have you heard the phrase “Fake it till you make it“? It means if you pretend you can do something, eventually you’ll actually be able to do it. “Pretending” is incredibly effective—it’s actually the shortest path to becoming the person you want to be during your cultural adjustment.

Act confident even when you’re not. Try doing things you can’t really do yet, like you’re playing a character. Even if you can’t fully commit to it, having this mindset versus not having it makes a world of difference emotionally during overseas living.

Clashing with Japanese Culture – The Nail That Sticks Out vs Speaking Up in Cross-Cultural Communication

Actually, even when I was in Japan, I felt uncomfortable with the culture of conforming to others.

I wasn’t someone who never spoke up or couldn’t say no at all, so I was pretty vocal for a Japanese person. Especially at work, I’d often make suggestions like “if we changed this, we could improve that.” But in a Japanese environment where people tend to stay quiet even when they have opinions, and where standing out is frowned upon, it wasn’t exactly comfortable.

Nobody said anything to me directly, but I’d worry—am I being too opinionated? Are people getting annoyed with me?

If you’re experiencing overseas living in Japan as a foreigner, you’ve probably wondered “Why doesn’t anyone say anything?” at some point. Once you learn about Japan’s saying “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down,” it all makes sense.

“The nail that sticks out gets hammered down” is a proverb meaning that if you act or speak in ways that stand out, you might face backlash, jealousy, or criticism from others. This rarely happens during overseas living experiences in Western countries. If you have an opinion, you voice it. If there’s something you can do, you go for it. But in Japan, doing these things can sometimes make you stand out in a bad way, which is why many people choose to stay quiet or go along with the crowd even when they have something to say. Understanding this difference is crucial for successful cross-cultural communication.

The Double-Edged Sword of “Reading the Air” in Cross-Cultural Communication

Japan also has this unique concept called “reading the air” (kuuki wo yomu). It means sensing the atmosphere of a situation without words—it’s really symbolic of Japan’s high-context culture and affects cross-cultural communication significantly.

Japanese people are great at using indirect, roundabout expressions so no one gets hurt, and at picking up on others’ feelings and the mood of a situation. Of course, this isn’t a bad thing—it’s actually one of Japan’s virtues and positive traits.

But it doesn’t work during overseas living experiences. Few people will pick up on what you’re not saying, and there’s no culture of reading the air and conforming to the group. In Japan, if you’re “the nail that sticks out,” people tell you to “read the air.” But during overseas living, if you “read the air,” you’re seen as “someone who doesn’t know what they’re thinking” or “someone without their own opinions.”

Being caught between these opposing cultures was something that troubled me whether I was in Japan or experiencing overseas living, making cultural adjustment particularly challenging.

Breaking Through the Language Barrier – Key Expat Advice for Cross-Cultural Communication

And then there’s the language barrier you just can’t avoid in overseas living.

As many people know, English and Japanese are worlds apart as languages. English needs subjects and objects to make sense; Japanese works fine without them. English puts the conclusion first; Japanese puts it at the end.

I believe language isn’t just about memorizing words—you need to understand the culture behind it to really master cross-cultural communication.

For example, imagine someone says “Perfect” at the end of a conversation. They’re not literally saying it’s “perfect”—it’s more like a casual acknowledgement, like “sounds good.” Knowing this versus not knowing it completely changes how you communicate during overseas living.

So mastering a foreign language takes serious effort and getting used to it. Talking with natives is genuinely challenging for anyone adjusting to overseas living. You can’t keep up with how fast they talk, you struggle with pronunciation…

Of course, some people can just dive right into local circles regardless of how well they speak. I saw plenty of people like that during my time in NZ experiencing overseas living. I’m so envious of people who can do that!!! laughs

I wasn’t that type, but luckily I found my own way to improve: making friends with other foreigners who are learning the same language.

The key is that they can’t be from your home country—they need to be foreigners from other places. For me, that meant non-Japanese Asians, Europeans, Latin Americans, etc.

Since you’re both making tons of mistakes and communicating through trial and error until you get used to it, you don’t stress about making mistakes and can focus on just talking more. And when your friends pick up the language quickly, it motivates you too.

Once you make these friends and start hanging out, eating together, you naturally learn about that country’s culture (and your friends’ cultures too!) together. Once you get to that point, the barrier to talking with natives drops significantly compared to when you started your overseas living journey. This approach really accelerates cultural adjustment.

The Most Important Mindset for Cultural Adjustment During Overseas Living

Finally, let me share the secret to adapting quickly to overseas living in a different culture. This applies to people who are naturally suited for overseas living too, but the most important thing is not comparing everything to your home country.

Whether you can accept “this is just how the culture is here” really affects how comfortable you’ll be during your cultural adjustment period.

During my overseas living experience in NZ, I met exchange students who’d constantly say things like “Back home it would be like this!” or “This place is so inconvenient!” Those who felt uncomfortable because they kept comparing everything to their home country often ended up going back quickly. On the flip side, those who could think “oh, so this is how things are in NZ” or “this is what’s great about NZ”—treating it as something completely separate—often ended up staying permanently and truly embracing overseas living.

We’re human, so of course there will be parts you think “I’m not really into this.” And that’s totally fine. But instead of comparing everything, if you can have the mindset of “in my country it’s like this, but in this country it’s like that,” I think you’ll be able to enjoy your overseas living experience so much more.

Essential Expat Advice – Making Your Overseas Living Journey Successful

Here’s some practical expat advice I wish someone had shared with me at the beginning of my overseas living adventure:

Build connections gradually: Don’t pressure yourself to fit in immediately. Cultural adjustment takes time, and that’s completely normal.

Embrace the learning curve: Every mistake in cross-cultural communication is a learning opportunity. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes.

Find your community: Whether it’s other people experiencing overseas living or locals who share your interests, having a support network makes all the difference.

Stay curious, not judgmental: When you encounter cultural differences, approach them with curiosity rather than criticism. This mindset will enhance your cultural adjustment process significantly.

Closing – Cheering You On in Your Overseas Living Journey

Being a “foreigner” in someone else’s country during your overseas living experience—sometimes you might feel lonely, or like you’re the only one who’s different.

But all of those feelings are part of it, and overseas living is this amazing experience where you discover new things about yourself, your world expands, and your life becomes richer through cultural adjustment and improved cross-cultural communication.

Whether you’re about to start your overseas living adventure or you’re already out there making it work, please enjoy life in your new place at your own pace, in your own way.

Even when cultural differences throw you off during your cultural adjustment journey, that’s proof you’re growing. And more than anything, those experiences will definitely become treasures in your overseas living story.

I hope your overseas living journey turns out to be something truly wonderful, filled with meaningful cross-cultural communication and personal growth.

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